I’ve just watched what could be described as the US Formula 1 Grand Prix but would be more accurately be described as a farce.

Having just ordered tickets in the last week to go to my first Grand Prix, my heart sank as I watched fourteen of the twenty cars peel into the pit lane at the end of the parade lap. The situation in Indianapolis was entirely avoidable.

However, as sympathetic as I am to the fans’ bitter disappointment, there really was no excuse for the abuse that the remaining six drivers received. I don’t know whether I would have remained seated to watch the ‘race’, but the guys out on the track on the day were not the ones at fault. I felt sorry for them; particularly Tiago Monteiro, who gained his first Formula 1 podium, but couldn’t really celebrate it.

Very sad.

Having survived the first day back in the office after our trip away, I figured that it was high-time I relayed some words and pictures about our recent sojourn to the other side of the Atlantic Ocean.

Taking the facts that we caught the aeroplane (with the high-tech, but slightly faulty entertainment system) and made it through US Immigration as read, I shall start with last Saturday morning at our hotel in New Jersey. I and his delectable wife C greeted us in the pouring American rain to transport us back to their house, which is North of New York City. We were told that on a clear day we would get some good views of the city. Of course on a day like last Saturday, all we saw was mist and rain until we were far North of the City.

Our hosts made us very welcome and after a lovely relaxing afternoon we went to see a local theatre production, which we enjoyed very much, despite our bodies’ desires to sleep during the second and third acts. Comedy prevailed over jet-lag.

Day two consisted largely of a trip to some of Dutchess County’s vineyards. Until that day, I was ignorant to the existence of such places, but it transpired that there are some rather excellent wines to be produced in New York State. Some examples of which are now resident in our wine-rack just downstairs.

Our brief stay at Whalley Towers, for which we thank our hosts muchly, came to an end as the working week started. On his way to the lab, I dropped us off at a train station with enough time for us to get a ticket before boarding a train to the aptly-named Grand Central Station.

We found our hotel with ease, right in the core of the Big Apple. Hooray for grid-like street layouts and unimaginatively-numbered roads. We were able to check-in nice and early to give us the opportunity to orientate ourselves with the city. The day was gloriously sunny and we walked down to the South of Manhattan Island.

The first well-known sight that we came to, completely by chance, was the sombre site of the twin towers of the World Trade Center. There were so many people standing around just looking, quietly, in disbelief at the huge crater where the two biggest buildings in New York once stood. Later on that day, as we walked back from the Brooklyn Bridge, we saw a car at the side of a road with so much dust on it, we thought that perhaps its owner had probably walked from the car to the Twin Towers on that fateful day. Not a pleasant sight.

As we wandered further North in Manhattan, the heavens opened, just as we were starting to think about what to do about an evening meal. Beacon-like, the Heartland Brewery and Rotisserie at the bottom of the tallest building around presented itself as a suitable place to shelter from the elements and to enjoy a meal, and perhaps a pint or two of the local brews.

We were up bright an early on Tuesday morning to catch one of the first ferries over to one of America’s most celebrated landmarks: The Statue of Liberty. First thing is most definitely the time to go as we were on a reasonably quiet ferry crossing and Liberty Island was also quiet when we got there. As we were leaving, the Island and the ferries arriving were much, much fuller.

Having paid our dues to go up inside the statue, been searched a couple of times, deposited out bags in the funky fingerprint-scanning lockers, we were informed that we would only be able to climb to the bottom of the actual statue and not all the way to the top (which the guidebooks told us was possible). Visitors have not been allowed to the crown area since 10 September 2001. Obviously this was a real disappointment. However, it was an absolutely beautiful morning and so the views of Manhattan we superb. From Liberty Island, we caught the ferry, rather predictably, to Ellis Island to investigate the museum there.

Back on the Mainland, we traipsed across town and off of American Soil to the United Nations. Again, the guidebook had let us down claiming that we could take a free tour, we couldn’t. Hey-ho. This was a good opportunity to rest our legs and send some postcards with funky UN stamps to our family.

Our second theatre visit of the week was to see Multiple TONY Nominee musical, Monty Python’s Spamalot at the Shubert Theatre (get your tickets here). Tim Curry was sadly absent on the (k)night, but his stand in (whose name escapes me for the minute) was excellent as King Arthur. We felt that the script would have to be changed considerably to work in The West End, but on Broadway, it was absolutely superb. Hank Azaria does a very good Cleese, it has to be said. Lots and lots of ‘in’ jokes and, what pleased me the most, is that I laughed more at the new material than at the old. And I laughed at the old a lot!

Wednesday was largely a day based around shopping. We went to all of the big department stores, shoe warehouses, computer shops, music shops and God knows what else. Surprisingly, we didn’t need to buy extra luggage to transport our goods home, which is good news. I managed to pick up some CDs that I’ve been after for a while and have struggled to buy in the UK (Cake, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones and Richard Cheese were among them, as well as the Original Cast Recording to a certain musical, for those interested).

While people were busying themselves back home voting in the new parliament, we were investigating the Chinatown area of New York. We walked for miles and miles, which may explain why Poor K is having to keep her left foot elevated at the moment. On our travels, we found streets of stores that sold all manner of things. We chuckled at the rows of shops selling the same thing, whether it be fridges, chairs or lights. We also located the legendary CBGB Club, where we spent the evening watching a couple of great bands (Venus Flytrap and Dark-Faced Boy) and a couple of not-so-great bands. That night we got a ride home in a big yellow taxi, another thing crossed off my to-do list.

On our last full day in the city, we ventured to the 86th floor of the tallest building in Manhattan. Yes, we know everyone does it, but the views really are quite spectacular. Did you know that (much like this page), the Empire State Building has different colo(u)r schemes depending on the date?

Before heading to the airport for a long journey home, we simply went for a walk in the park. Of course when that park is Central Park, this could take a long time. Especially when you take the time to stop in Strawberry Fields and rest a while at the John Lennon Memorial.

You know what? I really liked New York. The people were so polite, there is a lot to see and do and you can pick up copies of The Onion on street corners. While we saw everything that we wanted to see, I still don’t feel that we’ve seen enough. We shall have to go back!

Oooh! I have finally got around to looking at a link that K sent me last week to the website of a new Disney film: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. According to IMDB, the film will be released in time for Christmas.

After a brief wander around the website, I’m now off to find a copy of the book to include in my hand luggage for tonight’s flight.

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe was one of my favourite books as a young boy, along with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Oddly, I have no real desire to see that particular film, which means that Kris will love it!

Well, I have a few things to do before we head off to see The Whalleys in New York, so I shall bid you all adieu. Adieu!

A few words, if I may (and I may), about a concert we enjoyed last night.

The evening started off with bitter, bitter disappointment as we arrived at the venue shortly after the advertised door-opening time and long before the advertised showtime. It was when we were collecting our tickets that we were to discover that Dean Howard had already finished their set and that Thunder were taking to the stage. I had been looking forward to this gig for quite some time, so I was quite browned off to miss Dave’s live performance.

Thunder’s short set was very good indeed. In fact, I now quite fancy seeing them at one of their own gigs.

Peter Frampton has never really been ‘my bag’, I have to say. I was quite tempted to sit in the (smoke free) bar during his set, but thought better of it. I have to say that I was really very impressed at the quality of the music. The tribute to the Men of Black Watch was touching and his encore, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, was absolutely superb!

There wasn’t too great a delay before the main act came onstage. Deep Purple kicked off the set with Silver Tongue from their latest record (mental note: must buy copy of Bananas, I have the MP3s that I downloaded for evaluation purposes for too long now). This was pretty good, but the show really got started (for me) when they played the opening track to their 1973 album Who Do We Think We Are?, Woman From Tokyo. Ian Gillan, who appeared to have come onstage barefoot in his pyjamas, introduced the concept of air-Hammond to the crowd before returning to the Bananas album for I Got Your Number. The next song was from Fireball: Strange Kind Of Woman. Gillan’s amusing little anecdotes in-between songs added to the occasion. The next delight was Bananas: the song, not the fruit! Demon’s Eye was an unexpected treat from the Fireball album, followed up by The Well-Dressed Guitar. Steve Morse played through the blinding instrumental Contact Lost, a tribute to the crew of Space Shuttle Columbia. The mood was lifted then by Knocking At Your Back Door from Perfect Strangers, which merged nicely into Don Airey’s awesome Hammond extravaganza, culminating in the title track from Perfect Strangers. The main set was to finish with three songs from an album I always have a copy of in the car, Machine Head, these were: Highway Star, Space Truckin’ and the inevitable Smoke On The Water. Sadly, I’d snapped the G string on my shiny new air guitar, whilst tuning up, so I had to leave the guitar solo up to the man on the stage (he did an impressive job, too). I still managed to play the opening chords to perfection, of course!

The encore was quite literally, In Rock (if you like rock music, you must own a copy of this album): a ten-minute version of Speed King, featuring an impressive bass solo from Roger Glover and a small drum solo from Ian Paice, before the grand finale: Black Night (the second song that Mrs Johns knew of the set)!

Deep Purple are without a doubt one of the greatest rock bands of all time. Seeing them live not only confirmed these thoughts, but also gave me a new sense of respect for those musicians. Highly recommended.

I have left it so long since I last blogged, that I forget all of the trivial things that I wanted to mention. Hey, ho. Less fat, more lean.

I shall just witter about GuilFest 2004, if that is alright with you. And even if it isn’t. GuilFest was my first ever music festival experience, which is odd given the amount of gigs that I have been to. I have to say that, despite the obvious lack of wife, I enjoyed every minute of the festival.

Gratuitous links to the bands that to which I bore witness now follow [please hover over the links for my brief thought snippets]:

• Hot Club of Cowtown
• Simple Kid
• Blondie
• Rolf Harris (featuring Miss Given, ladies and Gentlemen!)
• Tim Booth And The Individuals
• Katie Melua
• Simple Minds
• The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain
• The Saw Doctors

I was in good company for the weekend, with oft-stars of this blog, Messrs. Dean and Mayes by my side. They picked us a good (if not slightly sloped) pitch. The slope didn’t prove too problematic. We were at the bottom of the camping site, which was great as we didn’t have hordes of people trekking past our tents at all hours in search of the amenities. I was very impressed with the quality of the plumbing facilities that were on offer at GuilFest. Hats off to the organisers there. I should have kept my hat on, mind, the forehead’s looking a tad red today!

A fine variety of rapid cuisine was available all weekend. I ate some of the finest Jerk Chicken (with hot pickled cucumber) that I have ever eaten. The rest of the food was good, too!

The highlight for me, was seeing Rolf live! That and hurtling groundwards at 60 miles per hour on the Wrigley’s Airwaves Drop Zone.

I’m quite keen that this will not have been my last music festival.

Sunday, Sunday, here again. So soon. I have to say that I have been so busy recently that his week has flown by. This has to be a good thing. Mrs J has been in Miami for four weeks now. In just under three weeks, my wife will be home. I hope the next three weeks pass as quickly as this one did.

Since I last blogged, construction work has commenced at Johnsy Towers. I say ‘construction’, Given that to date this has involved digging a large hole just outside the main entrance and half-filling said aperture with cement and removing the shelter that once protruded from the front of the building: perhaps I should have said ‘destruction’. Progress could best be described as slow. In the original scheme of things, the Porsche porch was meant to be built by now. It don’t expect that the cement will be long dry by the time my wife returns.

On Tuesday night, of course, I was up at Piccadilly Circus with long-time chum James Casey, whom I bumped into by chance while awaiting a cancelled train at East Croydon Station. We made our way up to the City to join a reported half-a-million other people watching the spectacle that was Formula 1 Comes to Regent Street. From our position, we got to see six out of the eight drivers. These were:

1. Nigel Mansell in the Jordan
2. Cristiano da Matta in the Toyota
3. Luca Badoer in the Ferrari
4. Jenson Button in the BAR
5. Zsolt Baumgartner and Kylie Flynn in a two-seater Minardi
6. DC in the McLaren
7. Juan Pablo Montoya in the WilliamsF1
8. Martin Brundle in the Jaguar

I was saddened to hear that Minardi’s Sporting Director, John Walton, died shortly after this tremendous event. My sympathies go to his family, his many friends in the pit-lane and his partner, Louise Goodman.

Today, of course, is the Grand Prix of Great Britain, an event to which I always look forward.

While I go away and do all the things that I need to do before the race, I shall leave you with a link to the excellent Lego films. A couple of which have been linked to else where of late!

From the television coverage, this afternoon, it looks like a beautiful day in the Loire Valley. Just under an hour ago, now, a large number of particularly fast four-wheeled machines started speeding their way around one of the greatest and most celebrated circuits in the world: Le Mans.

Twelve short months ago, I was there watching the famous 24-hour race with some of my friends and family. Watching the start of today’s race from the sofa convinced me that I shall be there again next year. It’s a bug, I tell you. Once you have been there once and experienced the wonders of watching some of the World’s finest drivers doing battle on the track in the glorious beasts that compete at Le Mans, you just have to go back for more. It’s not just the race, though, dear reader. Oh no! The whole ambience of Le Mans is indescribable. Hundreds and hundreds of motorsports enthusiasts all gathered together, ogling each others’ cars. Egging drivers to do burn-outs in their cars as they pass by. And just general good spirit. Oh yes! I shall return.

Today, though, I have been setting up webcams and microphones to facilitate transatlantic marital communications over the forty-something days and nights ahead.

Tomorrow, as Mrs Johns is curled up on the aeroplane with a good book, I shall be curled up on the sofa watching the end of the aforementioned endurance race, followed by the Canadian Grand Prix.

Meep meep.

According to the clock on the laptop, it’s nearly four o’clock in the morning. Oddly enough, it was at half-past four when the alarm went off this morning. Now we have to start convincing our bodies that the clock on the laptop is correct, despite the fact that the sun is shining through the aeroplane window. This afternoon we shall be landing in London, marking the end of our holidays. If the first three quarters of an hour of this flight are anything to go by, I shall have bruises all over my coccyx, as the diminutive lady behind me seems to have very hard and very active knees.

The PA (which keeps interrupting the comedy channel, to which I am trying to listen and now interrupting this blog entry) informs me that it is now lunchtime. I guess it is noon in the city from where we departed.

The flight is also pretty turbulent. I guess the chances of me sleeping, in order that I may help my body adjust to British Summer Time are slim. If you happen to see me this Bank Holiday weekend, then I apologise in advance if I am cranky.

The PA has just interrupted again, in at least two different languages, Jasper Carrott doesn’t sound as funny when you can only hear the punchlines. The caption on my wife’s screen tells her that the entertainment has been paused, while there’s an announcement in another part of the cabin. She does not get to hear the announcement, alas.

I cannot believe that three whole weeks have past since the two of us were sitting in the departure lounge of London Heathrow Airport, the entire trip ahead of us. In no time at all we’ll be at home, opening little brown window envelopes, sorting laundry and contemplating going back to work. Not to say I’m not looking forward to being back home, mark you. It will be good to be back in our own bed, in charge of our own diets and back in the old routine. I haven’t swum in what seems like an eternity. I’m very much looking forward to getting back in the pool. I also have bought plenty of bits and pieces containing electronic circuitry, so I’m looking forward to playing with those on our return!

So… what have we been up to since I last wrote?

I cut my last blog entry short, and I’ve lost my train of thought, now, so we’ll call that complete, shall we?

tk arrived home from the office and took us to to a local izakaya, a kind of Japanese pub, that sells food. These places are often frequented by the office workers of the city, where they socialise and generally chew the fat. Our host chose a selection of dishes for us, and we got stuck into a few glasses of the wonderful brews that Japan has to offer. The food was superb. Later, S joined us. He had been working late, as per usual. Having all caught up on the day’s events, consumed a fine repast and a few ales, we made our way to the local karaoke bar. Alas, Wednesday evening marked the start of Golden Week, a national holiday, so the rooms were all full. K didn’t get a chance to experience true Japanese "empty orchestra" on this visit, so there’s another excuse for us to return soon.

On Thursday, we made our way to Hayama. tk and S’s employer has a flat there that is available to employees for a nominal fee. A very nice flat, it is too. It is right on the coast and, we were delighted to discover, provides a wonderful view, across the water, of the gloriously snow-capped Mount Fuji.

We spent the afternoon on the beach with our friends, S’s boss, associated wife and two cute daughters. Said Japanese girls, aged six and nine, entertained us, later in the day, with their knowledge of English nursery rhymes. On the beach we set up a pair of barbecues and a pair of picnic tables and proceeded to cook and eat a scrumptious assortment of all manner of meat and seafood; accompanied, of course, by plenty of Biru.

Our last full day in Japan was spent in the historic city of Kamakura, not far from Hayama. I had been there once before, in June 2001 and recall how much I enjoyed my time there. This visit was no different. The enormous temples and gigantic Daibutsu that you see in Kamakura are unlike anything I have seen anywhere else in the World. I’m sure when I eventually get to visit other parts of Japan, I shall be equally impressed by the sights available.

Last night, we were treated to a top-notch Chinese meal, in the company of tk’s father. Following on from the restaurant where the Webb-Ellis Cup-winning England side ate in Sydney, the restaurant in question was where 2002’s Football World Cup-winning Brazilian team dined. We ate a whole host of oriental dishes, including shark’s fin soup and crab’s claw, which neither my wife nor I had eaten before; both of which were delicious!

Sadly, our trip draws to a close. I may write some more about it in the days and weeks to come, depending on how they pan out. Right, now though, I’m going to attempt to get a few hours’ sleep.

To the three families who so generously provided us with accommodation and who gave up so much of your own time to entertain and educate my wife and I over the past three weeks, I just want to say, once more how grateful we are. We look forward to welcoming you at an English airport in the not-too-distant future and returning the favour! Thank you.

It’s so good to be back in Tokyo. I’m sitting in friend TK’s living room. He and his Dad have kindly put us up for our stay here. S met us at the airport yesterday morning and, after a brief stop-off at his flat, where we met his wife and seven-month-old son, provided us with a tour of the shopping suburbs of Japan’s capital city.

One of the shopping areas that we covered was Electric City, where I picked up a number of accessories for my new toy. When I get back to the UK, I shall have plenty to play with! We also had a wonder around the Sony Tower. Now here’s a place for gadget-lovers everywhere. We saw some very cool digital cameras (minute) and Mini Disc players (platinum-plated). K enjoyed herself playing with the Eye-Toys and I developed a desire for their PSX machine.

Last night we joined S and N (and Baby R), at the restaurant where two years (to the day) previously, they celebrated their wedding. TK was also there. We had a lovely meal with some fine wines and a wonderful desert, to celebrate the second wedding anniversary.

K (whose grasp of Nihon-go is increasing rapidly and will soon be putting mine to shame) and I were left to our own devices today. We took the opportunity to navigate the Tokyo subway and rail systems. Our first port-of-call was the World Trade Center. We took the lift to the fortieth floor to experience th sights. Alas, while were were up there the elements decided to assure us that we had been really very lucky while we were in the Southern Hemisphere and a heavy downpour ensued, reducing the visibility. While we couldn’t see Mt. Fuji in the distance or get a decent photo of the Tokyo Tower (a television transmitter), we did get to see some good views of this busy city. We sat at the top and took out the guide book (we like the Lonely Planet series) to decide where to go next.

Ueno presented itself as a good place to visit, with lovely parks, museums and a five-storey pagoda. We found our way there without any problem and wandered around the market-filled streets. After a bite to eat, we meandered through the park and to the museum.

Time really does fly when you’re having fun. This is our last morning in Australia and I’m sat, once more, at the patio table at B and M’s house. B is barbecuing breakfast for the six of us and it smells delicious. K is stowing the wine for our passage back to the Northern Hemisphere. A good opportunity for me to write about the past few days. I have been very slack both with the laptop and the camera over the past few days, which is a shame.

M’s uncle has just reached the ripe young age of seventy years. His family organised a party for him in their home town of Gunnadah, to which my wife and I were kindly invited.

Gunnadah is a fair distance from here. Probably about five hours drive, or thereabouts. N and M wisely suggested that we break up the journey by stopping off in Australia’s famous Hunter Valley, to take in a couple of wineries and (more importantly) their produce!

Three wineries we visited: Macguigan’s, Pepper Tree and Keith Tulloch. At each of these we sampled a wide range of wines, but it was only at the latter of them that we seemed to enjoy every sample as much as the last. Perhaps this was because the tasting was so much more relaxed: we were sitting in comfy chairs in a first floor room with an almost three-hundred-and-sixty degree panorama of the Hunter Valley, with Keith Tulloch among us explaining about how each of the wines were made and discussing the subtle differences between Australian and French wine-making.

We arrived in Gunnadah some hours later, with M’s father. Our hosts had booked us all into a lovely motel, which was conveniently situated a few metres away from the venue for the evening’s event. The birthday celebrations went off without a hitch and some of M’s uncle’s many friends and relations took the microphone during and after a scrumptious meal, to tell stories about the past seventy years. I was very pleased to be there.

The following morning, which was very sunny, we were all invited to an early breakfast at M’s uncle’s house. Over barbecued sausages, bacon, eggs, mushrooms, etc., we chatted with some of the people we had met the night before, who were all keen to hear about where we were from and what we did. They were a very friendly bunch. M’s father insisted that when we return to New South Wales that we gave him some notice and that he would spend two weeks showing us the real Australia! M’s Uncle made me promise that I’d come to his next 70th birthday and that I would bring royalty with me. I’ll be working on that when I get back!

We made our way back to suburban Sydney via Newcastle (driving through Hexham and Stockton!), which is on the coast and has a number of shipyards. It’s a very pretty town with gorgeous long beaches and great hills for flying kites and so forth. Mrs Johns seemed to think that this would be a good place to live. Also on the journey home, we met N’s horse, Cover Girl.

Nearly a day has passed since I started typing these words. We have just had a very early breakfast up above the clouds on Qantas flight twenty-one to Tokyo.

We spent yesterday saying goodbye to the marsupials of Australasia and also to our friends who had made us feel so welcome and so at home on our visit to Australia. We also spent a fair amount of time shopping. I shall be writing more about my favourite purchase at a later point in time. Suffice to say that it is rechargeable, holds 40Gb of music files, is made by a company named after something that grows on trees and was 75% of the retail price at home :-)

As the sun rises in the land of the rising sun, I’m getting excited about the next four days that we’ll be spending there. We land in Tokyo in just over an hour. After we have collected our baggage and didgeridoo, we will be met by my old friend S, who has spent a lot of time arranging things for us to do during our short stay. Today is S’s second wedding anniversary, so we’re especially grateful for him getting up at ludicrous o’clock to pick us up at Narita Airport.

More exciting updates later, I’m sure!